Army 1 the 13/14 Season kicks off. Who moved the goal posts?

Up at 5, and out the door at 6. Miserable and dark for the 30 minute drive to Bishops Cannings.  Accompanied by the sound of Marillion  "Script for a Jesters Tear", and The Levellers "Leveling the Land" even the great music like 15 Years and Battle of the Bean field, couldn't remove the discomfort from my still knackered gut.

Pulled up at the Bridge Inn and grabbed my torch.  Bugger as the torch lamp faded on cue - flat battery.  Opened the back of the van to grab the back up torch,and dropped it on the road smashed into many pieces. Great. Lets put the wellies on Carl is getting impatient.  Yes you have guessed left the wellies at home.So in the pitch black of autumn Wiltshire morning we started.  And so did the rain.

I really didn't want to be pegging , I was sweating like a fat lass in a chip shop, the stomach cramps worse than they have been for a while.  Stepped onto the tow path straight into what could have only been a big dog shit, either that or the boaters do it on the towpath here.  Out of that and into a puddle up to my ankle.  So with my trainers full of water we trudged into the gloom.

Pegging is a thankless task, whatever you do people will always moan.  Carl and I take the view can you do it better? then get up at 5 am and do it.  Three sections of 15. A section from the Bridge inn up to the turning bay.  B section over the Swing bridge (8 pegs right and 7 left on the dead stretch).  Fondly named the dead stretch as it has produced so many blanks for us over the past few years.  Finally C Section.  Down to Horton village and 8 and 7 either side of the Bridge on the Hill next to Hareworth House.  Both Carl and I fancied drawing this section.

Raced back to the Crown at Bishops Cannings for admin, sausage sandwich and a cup of tea.  First point of call the loo, and frantically tried to get several layers of clothing off before it was too late. I have no control over my gut and it was coming, and coming big style.

With relief and fully dressed again I went into the pub and tried to be sociable as I felt my body returning to normal.  It was with great pleasure that I turned around to see Ian, "Spanners" Spanswick my mate from Pewsey AC.  Ian was on leave and I had invited him to attend as guest of the Army to fish.

The pub filled and the long process of registering teams and individuals for the season to come, began.  Orphans have two teams this year.  Red and Blue.  Carl and I did the match brief talked people through the Car parks, and sections.  A little Health and safety warning from me, about undercut banks, overhead cables and slippery tow paths.  The draw begins.  Now I have asked a few people who draw well how to draw a good peg.  Apparently you close your eyes concentrate on the one you want and it comes out magically.  I wanted A or C section not B.  If I did get B please let it be near the swing bridge and not on the dead stretch.

So it was with unrestrained misery that I drew the dead stretch.  Not only that but as far from the swing bridge as I could be....  Really! Yes really, the day could get worse.  The wind was getting up and the rain heavier.  Perhaps god will smile and I will be in a section with anglers of equal ability! Voice from above comes down - " aint gonna happen fat boy stop bitchin".  So on the way to the peg, I passed Chris Perry Roy Rickets, Si Irwin and then to top it who's next to me but Yoda.  John Dewberry my friend and mentor.  Each though a nail in my match coffin.

All very good Anglers, so great no chance today.  Lets just enjoy the wildlife as there is no fish here.

  The dead stretch looking back at the people on fish and wishing.  

John did have the worst of starts by plonking down his trolley on arrival where upon it tipped sideways dropping his box into the canal.  I ran back down to help him, and his flooded box from the depths and back up the bank..

Yoda tackling up.

 He had that look that said someone is going to pay for that, he just lit a fag and got on with it with that robotic determination he has.  The man is a fishing machine.








I had the feeling he didn't want to talk.  So left him and crept away back to my peg.  The bank went straight down no ledge; so didn't get the platform in as it would have been well submerged.  Not good stuck high on the bank horizon like a sore thumb. Hedge behind was a solid thicket so no room to feed the pole back. Bugger just get on with it.  I shouted the all in and dropped in a nugget of crumb. Fish first drop and another and another and another.  No size but at least I haven't blanked as expected on the dead stretch.  Yoda is bagging in his metronomic fashion.  Small stuff like me but I am nearly fish for fish with him which is pleasing.  The first boat comes through and stirs the silt and the swim dies. So across into shallow 12 inch water and a I am catching 3 fish = 10 grams.  Frustratingly no bigger fish show.  I never thought I would long for a River Nadder minnow, but a minnow would be a big fish today.

Near side swim has settled and I drop in the punch and get a lovely proper 10 oz Roach.  Then nothing.  I try the choppy line hoping for a dog Perch to boost me; but get three gudgeon. I catch steadily with very small fish for 2 hours despite a couple of boats passing through. Then it dies and so does Johns swim.  John, starts catching again, after half an hour or so, but I don't; and its another 1 and a half hours before my next bite.  Wonder how Spanners is doing.  Is he flying the Pewsey Flag?

After going down to a size 24 hook and single squat I scratch a few more roach from the far side. Generally I am pleased, John has beaten me for sure, but I reckon I have a kilo, and a 2 kilos can win this match if history is anything to go by.  I shout the all out.  We pack quickly and wait for the scales to come.

Bugger it appears others in the section nearer the swing bridge have done well.  Hope I haven't let the team down.

The lads have a few drinks and fishy tales are exchanged whilst the scores are totted up.

"A" section from the Bridge Pub to the turning bay.  Danny Jones is the man blasting (ARTILLERY ) the section with 3 kilo + from peg 2.  Orphans Blue Dave Griffiths overcomes Dave C Orphans RED Dave G did have the benefit of being on the edge of the famous turning bay, but you still got a catch em.  Already we begin to note the good weights - remember historically a kilo has been a great weight.  Perhaps the continuing mild weather has helped.

Midsectionblues for me 7th but 6 points for the team (2 Kilo 180 g or 4 and 3/4 pound).  Did manage to get past Roy Rickets in Orphans Blue so bonus there.  Pleasing to be so close to Chris Perry and Si Irwin (Army and Pewsey member) as well; not many grams in it.  Yoda of course has taken the section  ( 3 kilo+ or 6.5 lb).  Who else could drop their tackle box in and then win the section?  Gav Bolitho 2nd on the expected flyer against the end of the reeds.

C Section.  Go Spanners, great news the Pewsey flag flies high and proud.  I am delighted to say Ian bagged three kilo 820 g (8lb).  He picked up 3rd in Super pools and section by default.  Orphans Carl Amman and John Goddard struggled on the day unlucky lads

Well done to a group Chairman, (Kev East) winner with 4 kilo 440.  Unlucky Ivan Oakey 4 kg dead for second it was tight.

Got to be happy, I am top Orphan on the day and on the dead stretch!   Red pips Blue - just.
Orphans Red = 23
Orphans Blue = 26

Put that in perspective though Nomads the perennial Champs have total of just 6 points, its going to be a long season.

Mid section but happy.  Just need to know who moved the goal posts?  Just when I put in a reasonable show and get what historically could have been a winning weight - so does everyone else!!!

Look forward to Sunday myself Spanners and the Pewsey lads on the Thames at Lechlade.  Leo may not fish, but Si Irwin has said he will try and get there. Bonus Si knows the Thames well.